Paul Luckraft reviews ‘Has Anyone Seen My Father?’ by Marion Daniel (New Wine Press, 2008)

This is Marion Daniel’s first book and focusses on the important topic of fatherhood and other similar relationships. No-one would disagree that fathers hold a unique place in family life and that a person’s relationship with their father can have far-reaching consequences on their adult life especially in the area of emotional wholeness, so here is a book well worth investing in.

The author’s goal is not to preach or expound psychological principles but to allow God to bring healing and restoration through the truth of his Word. The book is in four parts, with each part ending in a helpful summary plus some prayers that readers can use if they have found that that particular section applies to them.

Gaining Perspective on Our Fathers

Part One explains the pattern of parenting and begins with an interesting outline of fatherhood during different phases of our national history. This is helpful as the age of each reader will determine when they were first in relationship with their father. For instance, older readers will need to know what it was like to be a father around the time of World War 2 and other periods of adversity and scarcity.

In more modern times, the emphasis may not be economic deprivation but rather that society has become more godless and time-consuming. Children today may be better provided for in material terms but starved of time and real love as the father is often absent through excessive work or other activities.

The author’s goal is not to preach or expound psychology but to allow God to heal through his Word.

The author stresses how important it is to realise what factors affected our father’s own upbringing and what traumas in his life made him the person he is. It could be “he was behaving in the only way he knew how given his own upbringing” (p22). Our dads were also children once, with their own unique experience of being parented.

Marion Daniel also makes us aware that our initial impressions of our fathers will inevitably have been childish ones, those of an immature person trying to come to terms with life and the world generally. A more adult reflection in later life is necessary to get a sense of reality and proportion into our thinking.

The Curse of Sin

At times the author is quite hard-hitting regarding the consequences of fathers who don’t know the Lord or walk in his ways. Their children will inevitably suffer in some way from such rejection or wickedness, and the effects can be disastrous.

Using Psalm 109, she states that “there is a very definite curse that comes upon the children of people who act wickedly before God” (p31). This might seem rather dramatic; however, she does continue that the power of any curse that results from the sin of our ancestors can be broken through Jesus.

It is important to realise what factors affected our father’s own upbringing.

Reconciliation and Adoption

Part Two examines Deuteronomy 6 in order to see what fathers should have done for their children in terms of direction and discipline. This is a useful section for Christians who are currently fathers or expecting to be fathers in the near future. Prevention is always better than cure!

Part Three covers the theme of reconciliation. Here the scripture to be drawn upon is the story of the prodigal son, obviously well-known to many but no doubt still able to speak powerfully into many situations. The section ends with three real life testimonies of those who have received God’s healing and restoration in this area.

Part Four is an important section in that it is intended to help those who never knew their father - either because they were adopted, or because their parents were “absent” (p75). It is to be assumed that this would include those who early in life became fatherless through death. We are reminded that God has a special concern for the fatherless and this is explained in terms of being adopted into his family.

One final point in this section is to explain how each local church needs ‘spiritual fathers’, those who can bring encouragement, consolation and direction to those who have missed out on these qualities from their natural fathers.

God has a special concern for the fatherless.

Practical and Useful Insights

Overall this is an important book that will help many people, though some may think that some of the statements made in it are rather simplistic and potentially misleading. For instance, “The emotion of anger is produced whenever a particular goal we have is blocked” (p21). It was commented to me that although anger may be a response to a blocked goal, this is not always the case. Perhaps matters are not always as straightforward as the book suggests, but certainly there are many practical and useful insights which, with God’s help, will produce healing in these areas.

One strong feature of the book is that it provides many scriptures to meditate on and refer back to once the book has been read. It would be well worth having a notebook handy to jot these down and also to note any pages of the book to re-visit at a later occasion.

Has Anyone Seen My Father (96 pages) is available for £5.99 from Sozo Books.