Paul Luckraft reviews ‘One Flesh’ by Peter Sammons (2012).
This very readable and accessible book sets out the biblical perspective on marriage and male-female relationships generally. Taking its title from Genesis 2:24 (which Jesus endorses in Matthew 19:5), the main theme is the uniting of the two genders according to God’s purposes.
The author’s aim is for his readers to get “a clearer idea of how God wants them to live out their lives as regards the opposite sex”, adding that “we will see some pitfalls to avoid and discover some principles which, if adopted, will help us to make good and healthy choices for the way we live our lives and with whom we share them” (p12).
This is no starry-eyed approach to what can be a difficult topic, both in theory and in practice. Living ‘happily ever after’ may be the hope and dream but reality is often very different, and the author is well aware of the hurts and disappointments that can occur in the pursuit of one of life’s main blessings. He tackles very sensitively the risks and rewards of entering into marriage and explains well the enormous responsibilities that such a lifelong commitment carries with it.
This is no starry-eyed approach to what can be a difficult topic.
Soul Mates?
One interesting point is where he discusses the modern idea of a soul mate. Sammons asserts that “the Bible in no place so much as hints at such an idea” (p48). He adds that this concept owes much to the New Age movement and actually has pagan roots. He states that Scripture “gives us no indication at all that there is only one person in all eternity that we might marry”, which he describes as “extremely liberating” (p48). In principle, happiness can be found with any one of many people, if both partners are prepared to work at building a life together. It should be added, however, that the author is clear that once a marriage takes place, there is then only one partner while each is alive.
One good section of the book is the account of the ‘true love story’ of Isaac and Rebecca, from which the author draws several godly principles.
Further scriptural passages given lengthy treatments include the romance between Ruth and Boaz and, inevitably perhaps, the Song of Songs. In these cases the author brings out the clear distinction between the Hebraic mindset on such matters and that portrayed by Greek thinkers, such as Plato and Augustine, which has so influenced Western culture.
The Definition and Purpose of Marriage
It is not until we get halfway through the book that the author attempts a biblical definition of marriage (too lengthy to quote here), the main point being to contrast it with a legal dictionary definition (even lengthier!) where it is called a contract rather than the more biblically accurate description of marriage as a covenant.
Interestingly, Sammons asserts that the first task of marriage is to banish loneliness, and only of secondary significance is that it enables a man and woman to join with God in the process of creation of new life.
Legally marriage is a contract, but the more biblically accurate description of marriage is a covenant.
Also at this halfway point, we are given a fuller understanding of the meaning of ‘one flesh’ which is too often assumed to refer primarily, or even exclusively, to sexual union. Sammons suggests the phrase in Genesis means much more, namely “to become a single functioning unit that draws its strength from itself. Being one flesh entails the complete identification of one personality with the other in a community of interests and pursuits, a union that is consummated in the act of physical unity” (p93). Much to ponder there!
Tricky Issues
As well as explaining the ‘leaving and cleaving’ aspect of becoming ‘one flesh’, the author also touches on the related topics of singleness and polygamy. Furthermore, he does not shirk the tricky issues of male headship, cohabitation and divorce, all of which he approaches with sensitivity yet firm convictions. It is also pleasing to note that he has stern words for those who promote sexual experimentation under the guise of sex education.
Boy meets girl – it happens all the time. But then what? Writers and musicians down the centuries have depicted many scenarios that could follow, often with less-than-happy consequences. The Bible never claims that marriage is easy, or that it will be a bed of thornless roses. But, Sammons believes, “the genius of marriage is that it provides a wonderful medium for love to grow…love is not so much the basis for marriage, but rather marriage is the basis for love” (p162).
Sexual sin may or may not be the worst form of sin, but its consequences can be more far-reaching than most. In this area of life, as in all others, Christians will want to live by godly standards but, as Sammons points out, “we are up against a powerful alliance of enemies: our own natural inclinations, the propaganda of the world, and the propaganda of the devil” (p101-102). We will have a better chance to stand against ‘the world, the flesh and the devil’ after reading this book.
One Flesh (171 pages, Glory to Glory Publications) is available from the publisher for £9.99 inc. P&P, or for free as a downloadable e-book. Also available on Amazon.
