Catharine Pakington reviews ‘Dementia: Frank and Linda’s Story’ by Louise Morse (2010, Monarch Books).

I was introduced to this book through the inspiring website of Dr Jennifer Bute, whose GP career was curtailed by early onset Alzheimer’s Disease:

Since then it has become my passion to try and help people understand about it, because I do believe it is a great opportunity, a God-given unexpected gift in order to understand this hurt section of society.

Dr Bute’s website offers resources giving an insider’s view of Alzheimer’s, to help doctors, relatives and carers respond positively.

Louise Morse takes up this theme of new understanding bringing new hope, especially for Christians who are pilgrims on a journey to Heaven. She co-authored an earlier book, ‘Could It Be Dementia? Losing Your Mind Doesn’t Mean Losing Your Soul’, which emphasised that people do not become worthless when they lose ability to remember or reason.

A former journalist, Louise is Media and Communications Manager with the Pilgrims’ Friend Society and also a counsellor and cognitive behavioural therapist. From her own experience, and that of others, she challenges readers to see that a person with dementia has not disintegrated, but is simply overshadowed. With understanding and support, the journey can even become a positive one as the individual continues to be recognised.

Based on a True Story

The author uses a narrative form, taking us through the true story of ‘Frank and Linda’, from the point at which Frank’s dementia is diagnosed and Linda adjusts to becoming his carer after many years of marriage. Morse depicts Linda using her knowledge of Frank to manage situations to maintain his contentment, avoiding triggers to anxiety or anger.

We follow the changes in their lives and how those around them cope and support – or do not. Their experiences are compared with those of others and we see how attitudes to dementia have changed in recent years.

Morse challenges readers to see that a person with dementia has not disintegrated.

From the outside it can seem that those with dementia are acting irrationally or living in imaginary worlds. Knowing a person’s history can help us recognise that what they are doing is consistent with the reality in which they are living, but it may be based on memories from the past.

Clattering from the kitchen prompted one man to hide under the table because it sounded like war-time bombing. A resident of a care home may say that they want to go home because something has happened that makes them feel unsafe. The approach encouraged by Morse is to “go with the flow” and to “get into their world”. We may think of doing that with children - but are we willing to seek the same understanding of the elderly?

Examples are given of long-established habits continuing and the calming effect of familiar words and songs. When other words may have been lost, a faithful Christian may still be able to quote Scripture, join in singing hymns or, in one example, repeat the names of those on her prayer list. I wonder what we are storing up that might come out of us when other abilities fail?

Challenge to Listen

Morse challenges us to listen to what patients are really trying to communicate, because it might not be what the words seem to say. As the numbers with dementia continue to increase we do not know who we might need to care for, or if we ourselves will one day be affected.

I used to take schoolchildren to visit a home specialising in dementia care. It was helpful to have resources to encourage the children to respect the residents with some understanding. Residents might not remember that we had been, but happy feelings could remain if we visited (and left) in the right way.

Uplifting and Practical

There are many uplifting stories in this book, but also much practical advice, including how to negotiate care homes, once residential care becomes necessary for the sake of the carer and the wellbeing of the one with dementia.

Each chapter ends with a summary of key ‘Points to Ponder’, which makes it easy to review sections, and a short section of devotions. It is a readable, accessible and practical book coming from a Christian perspective, that really does encourage hope.

Dementia: Frank and Linda’s Story (256pp, paperback and e-book) is available widely online, including on Amazon for £7.30.

Also by Louise Morse: Worshipping with Dementia: Meditations, Scriptures and Prayers for Sufferers and Carers (2010, Monarch Books) and Dementia: Pathways to Hope: Spiritual Insights and Practical Hope for Carers (2015, Monarch Books).